Kickin' it with Thirteen Wide

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

2009-05-13T05:35:00Z

I'll be the first to admit that I am not exactly the neatest person around. And I'm sure my wife will be the first to agree.

I've been known to leave things on the floor. In my car. In the sink. In my car. On the counter. In my car.

Sometimes I leave food in the refrigerator a bit too long. Sometimes Tupperware stays in my car a bit too long. (Okay...way too long.) But I have never forced the evacuation of an entire building by leaving rotting food laying around.

This is what happened at an AT&T call center in San Jose today. A bunch of rotting food was left in an unplugged fridge. Someone decided to clean the fridge. The smell of the cleaners and rotting food made several people sick and the building was soon evacuated.

I took it upon myself to assess blame. I decided to see if I could decide exactly what went wrong.

Should we blame the fool who left their lunch in the fridge?

No.

Should we blame the numbskull that unplugged the fridge without emptying it?

No.

You know who takes the blame here? The stupid fucklehead that decided to clean the fridge. Leave it up to some do-gooder to come along and just fuck things up for everybody. Although I can say in defense of the cleaning person I do remember hearing about not mixing more than one cleaner. I don't remember hearing anything about not mixing rotten fruit and cleaners.

This is another example of why I try not to do the right thing: others may be made to suffer for it. If people are going to suffer beacause of me I want it to be a conscious decision.

Hehe.

128 Days Later

2009-04-28T05:35:00Z

Good God!!!
The little screen when I log in said it's been 128 days since my last post. Where does the time go?
Let's bring everybody up to speed, shall we?

I helped my good friend Will move. And it wasn't just for the pizza.
I had my 38th birthday last week.
Kyler had his 10th birthday last month.
Bridget also had a birthday last month. 29 and still going strong.
We (my family and I) spent Easter in Disneyland.
Barack Obama was sworn in as President. (Did you know we had a Vice President too?)
We put the computer upstairs and I have officially graduated to a laptop.
Zachary is still the smart-ass of the kids.

Now we have that blasted swine flu thing going on. Does this sound like a science fiction movie to anyone?

More blogs will be coming soon. One might even have a nice, bushy tail...

Oh yeah: I still haven't won the lottery.

I've got good news and bad news.

2008-12-20T21:25:00Z

The bad news is the car in front of you just smacked into a tree and your friend in the passenger seat is stuck and may be in grave danger. The good news is your friend can sue you because you tried to save her life.

What the fuck?

Back in 2004 this accident happened and the "rescue" also happened. The one being pulled from the accident, Alexandra Van Horn, ended up as a paraplegic. The cause of the accident and the cause of Van Horn's paralysis are unknown to me. But I'll tell you what I do know: this bitch has got some pretty big balls to sue someone who tried to save her life.

Oh but wait...it gets better.

The California Supreme Court ruled (unanimously, no less) that this fool could sue because the Good Samaritan Law doesn't protect you unless you are administering emergency medical care. This instance did not qualify as such.

Lawsuits suck. Everybody wants to sue somebody. (Wasn't that a song?) The same dumb stuff. Dude trying to break in to a school falls through the ceiling and sues. And wins. Somebody gets shot and wants to sue the shooter, the gun manufacturer, the maker of the bullets...you see what I'm saying. I used to work at Florsheim shoes and while I was there someone sued the company claiming the pair of shoes he was wearing were defective and that caused him to fall down some steps. Turns out the dumb shit just couldn't walk right and broke the heel off of the shoe on his way down.

I'm not real keen on lawsuits. They almost always seem like get rich quick schemes to me. Sometimes they make sense though. Tobacco companies lying about the dangers of smoking? Sue 'em. But they are not the ones that made you light up in the first place. A crappy cooling system that causes the red ring of death? Sue 'em. Especially when it could've been fixed with a 50 cent piece of rubber.

I guess New Yorkers have always had the right idea after all: Just don't get involved.

Christmas was early again this year...but not because I won anything.

2008-12-04T07:13:00Z

I like movies. I know I've said it before but I feel the need to remind everyone. (All 5 of you.) There actually is a reason I bring it up now. First however, a little back story...

Back in the day I used to buy VHS movies. Then I got a temporary Christmas job at Suncoast. With the discount that was available to me how could I NOT increase the size of my collection? I was also able to get my hands on CAV LaserDisc versions of two of my favorite movies: ALIEN and ALIENS. At that time my brother worked at Sears so, using his discount, I bought a LaserDisc player. What a little slice of heaven.

Flash forward a few years. These weird things called DVD's are now being sold. Unfortunately 20th Century Fox isn't making them. They apparently don't have faith in the medium. Unfortunate because Fox owns the rights to the ALIEN movies. Then one day Fox announces they are on board with DVD's. My wife got me a DVD player (for my birthday?) and all was good with the world again. (That DVD player was my introduction to what I call "The Bridget Effect." More on that some other time.)

Flash forward a few more years. The Hi-Def battle is over (temporarily, at least) with Blu-Ray emerging victorious. But the players and the movies are still way too expensive. (And no ALIEN movies either!)

Today:
A few days ago actually. On a trip to Costco I found a Blu-Ray player on sale. $90 less than the usual price for two days only. A Black Friday deal I suppose. My wife said that Santa had given her the go ahead to get the player for me for Christmas. There are only two things that can make the whole thing sweeter: The ALIEN movies on Blu-Ray (time will tell!); and an HDTV. If my wife is reading this I have a plan...I'll buy have of the HDTV for your birthday and you can get the other half for me on my birthday. Whaddaya think?

Well, gotta run. It's time to open the fourth door on my LEGO Advent Calander.

She said, "Oh no! Guadalajara won't do."

2008-11-17T04:34:00Z

Now I feel I need to preface this with a bit of information for anyone that comes across this and doesn't know me: I am of Mexican descent.

Now on with the show...

There are some of you who may not be in on this joke but I'll share it with you anyway: Mexicans like to hang out at the Home Depot.

I suppose I understand...they are out there as day labor. Right? You go to Home Depot to get some lumber for your new fence and hell, why not? Pick up a couple of Mexicans to help you put it up. I do wonder how much the going rate is. Two 6-packs and a Big Bell Box meal?

And if you can't get you some Mexicans you call a friend who happens to be Mexican. (That's what Will did when he was working on his fence. Tee hee.)

Lately however I am noticing a disturbing trend. It seems the Mexicans have begun migrating. Not satisfied to lay claim to Home Depots across the country, they have started to move into other available parking lots. The main one I want to talk about is McDonald's. (Though they actually do bleed into the Burger King parking lot near my house. And Staples too.)

I pulled into McDonald's parking lot and thought I had accidentally driven to Home Depot. Once I realized I was in the right place I thought maybe the restaurant had a new promotion. Giving away one Green Card every day. Increase your chances by Super-Sizing.

Then I thought perhaps someting sinister was going on. Perhaps Mexico had declared war on McDonald's? Why on Earth would they be stalking the patrons at the Golden Arches? Wouldn't it just be easier to send poison burritos via Taco Bell?

Needless to say I still don't know why the Mexicans are hanging out at Mickie D's. I could ask them but my Spanish is a little rusty. I do know ocho cinco.

Man I haven't heard that song in years!

2008-11-13T10:00:00Z

I used to drink a lot of soda. No I mean A LOT!! I figured it wasn't too bad. After all I was drinking diet. But, alas, the truth is soda consumed in mass quantities is bad for you. (My youngest son likes to remind me of that.) So I stopped drinking sodas. For awhile. That was without a doubt the hardest three days of my life.

But there was (is) a perk to drinking all that soda. No, not the HUGE burps (though those can be cool.) I'm talking about the Pepsi Stuff Points. Using the 461 points I've collected so far I have gotten a season of Meerkat Manor for the boys, an armband thing that holds my iPod, a 2 Gigabyte flash drive and about 30 MP3's.

That's right!!! I'm actually "buying" songs online. I admit that the only reason I'm doing it is because it only cost points that I've collected doing something I was doing already: drinking soda. If I'm going to spend the money I'd still rather have the CD. Call me old-fashioned. Of course this means that I run out of songs to get since I go out and buy the music I want at the store. So then it falls to the rest of the family to tell me what songs I should get.

Long story short my wife said she wanted a song titled Photograph by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Amazon.com (which is what Pepsi is using for their current promotion) didn't have the song for purchase. At all. So began the quest to find the Photograph MP3. During my search I came across a blog someone had written. In it was a list of songs that were impossible to find. Included in the list was the song I was looking for and a few others. Not the MP3's just a list of songs. Bummer. But one of the songs caught my eye. A song that took me back to 1991 if I'm not mistaken. More on that later...

As my search wore on I came across what I can only call "gray area" sites that I finally was able to find that MP3. And a few others for the boys' MP3 players. (I'm trying to get them to learn some Rock Band songs!!) The boys are happy, the wife is happy, and happy wives make happy husbands. (Don't take that the wrong way!)

I wax nostalgic and everybody gets music they want. And it's all thanks to the power of Diet Pepsi. And Diet Pepsi MAX. And some Diet Cherry Pepsi since it was on sale. And the mother of a woman I work with who saves her caps for me.

Well I'm off to find a Christmas song by the Treacherous Three titled Xmas Rap. It was in some movie whose title eludes me.

But I will leave you with this song (the one I mentioned briefly earlier) and a question:

What is the KLF gonna do?

Rock the Vote!!!

2008-11-07T06:03:00Z

I got an e-mail last Sunday from Trent Reznor. In this e-mail he asked me to make sure I got out there and voted on election day.

That was all.

Jerry Brown had a commercial on the tube that was essentially the same.

"Be informed. Go vote."

No pushing beliefs. No telling me what they think I should do. It made me think back to the day when R.E.M. was still considered cool. (Not by me, of course. Even now that bandwagon rides on without me.) Back when Michael Stipes was receiving awards for the band and he kept changing his shirt to say different things: Free Mandela; Don't eat meat; Treat me like the bitch I am... Things of that nature. Annoying and such.

It was just nice to have someone plainly say, "Figure your shit out and go vote on it."

Which brings me to Prop 8. Vote "Yes" and same-sex marriages are banned (again.) Vote "No" and things stay as they are.

Californians apparently could not figure their shit out. Yes California, the most liberal state in the union. Prop. 8 passed and now same-sex marriage is again "illegal."

This is the kind of shit we learn about in school. When your children come home and ask why they have to learn about history this is the reason. Ignorance and fear. Homosexuals need to be treated differently because they are different? WTF!?!? Did any of us pay attention in school? Does the word "prejudice" carry the same weight it used to?

What next? Do the homosexuals have to ride in the back of the bus? Straight folks get one water faucet and gay folks get another? Does any of this sound familiar? Japanese concentration camps during WWII? Different schools for blacks and whites? Women not being able to vote?

And the kicker for me was the people behind the whole Prop. 8 thing were doing it to "preserve the sanctity of marriage." HUH!? With a divorce rate reported to be between 40 and 50 percent what exactly are they trying to preserve? The right to get divorced?

I've known quite a few gay folks in my day. And while some of them are flaming to no end and funnier than hell about it I couldn't imagine denying them their humanity just because they're gay.

I'm sure this is turning into a ramble but this whole thing just pisses me off. When closed-minded motherfuckers get their way....AAAARRRGH!!!!

I'll try to make my next blog something cheery and uplifting.

How real is reality TV?

2008-10-22T04:59:00Z

I'm not real big on T.V. That's not to say I don't watch it. I just don't watch a lot. House, Law & Order, baseball, football, things where people hurt themselves doing dumb things. My tastes are pretty simple.

In the last couple of weeks I found some shows that were the proverbial "train wrecks." Not new shows just things I'd had never heard of or seen.

The first one was Parental Control. This is a show on MTV that I think should carry more insurance than Jerry Springer. The parents of a "child" set their "child" up with someone they think would be better than the person their "child" is dating already. I can definitely see the current significant other getting all upset and stuff with the date. It was crazy 'cause the current boyfriends (both episodes I saw were daughters set up with new guys) were watching the date while sitting together. From what I saw both of the current boyfriends were complete assholes.

The second show was called The Pick Up Artist. The basic premise is this guy named Mystery (who used to be a geek) is this amazing pick up guy. World renowned even. Mystery takes a handful of what I can only call losers and proceeds to teach them the ins and outs of picking up chicks. I think what really struck me was as I looked at these guys I not only pitied them, but I realized that that was me 20 years ago. Shit...who am I kidding? That would be me now. Luckily I don't have to worry about all that. That reminds me...I have an anniversary coming up next week.

Anyway. Just had to get something out there so the 5 of you that read this know I'm still alive.

I've been working on my Spanish

2008-09-23T07:21:00Z

Well I've been doing a lot of stuff the last few weeks.

Had a couple of semi-lucrative garage sales, put a hole in my head, and learned some new Spanish terms.

Yeah, Zachary and I were racing to the car and I didn't see the low-flying branch. *THUNK* You think my head looked bad, you should see the tree. It's funny...the blood didn't start pouring out of my head until I pulled the piece of bark out. So I've got blood running down my face and Zachary looks at me (insert beat of silence) and says matter-of-factly, "You're bleeding." No stitches but I now have another hole in my head.

I've now know how to say "complete fucking moron" in Spanish. It's "Ocho Cinco." I'm sure it's old news now and I'm sure you've heard the story. I just can't resist. The fucklehead football player decided to legally change his name to his jersey number, which happens to be "85." So now his last name, instead of being Smith or Jones or whatever the hell it was, is now "Ocho Cinco."  This bugs me for two reasons:
    #1 It's just fucking stupid.
    #2 His number is "eighty-five" not "eight five." So his name should be "ochenta y cinco." Any good Spanish speaker will tell you that.

And, if you've made it this far here's a special treat.

Meet the latest addition to our gecko family: Lucky. As in he's lucky to be alive. I mean after the rest of the eggs "died" you know? I think it's a boy but we'll find out later.

He's so small!!!! We came home from work and found an empty egg in the upstairs tank. After searching for him he was located hiding in the rock thing.

You got to appreciate what an explosive element this Bonnie situation is.

2008-09-02T06:50:00Z

Alright, I'll be the first to admit it: I am not a big fan of MySpace. I've dealt with too many people who have had too much drama on the site. (Most of them were teens I worked with.) I've gotten too many "add me's" from weird women whom I wouldn't add to anything having to do with me.

But one day last week I got a message from one of my buds Doug. It was a message inviting me to join his "family" in a thing called Mafia Wars. It's an "app" that runs on MySpace.

In Mafia Wars you are a gangster doing gangster shit. You collect protection money, rob pimps, rough up you rivals, rob banks, you get the idea. Then, when you have enough money, you buy more weapons to do more gangster shit. Then, when you have more money, you buy property so you can make even more money.

It's kinda cool. There is one catch though: you yourself must get people to join your "family." The bigger your "family" the more gangster shit you can do. Twice as cool is if you get really lucky (like I did) you can take down a mob boss and make millions of dollars (like I did.) Then you can go to town buying crap and really do some gangster shit.

Anybody interested in joining my "family" just click on my bald LEGO head and ask to be my friend. MySpace...who'd of thunk it?

I love it when a plan comes together.

2008-09-01T07:30:00Z

I have this plan. It's a simple plan really. I'm going to retire at 50.

I'm going buy an RV and tour the United States. Maybe collect all those magnets shaped like the states. I'm going to go scuba diving off the Great Barrier Reef. It's only about 40 miles away from my Winter cottage. I am going to spend the first 5 years of my retirement watching movies for 8 hours a day in my private screening room. That's the screening room that takes up the third floor of my house.

I'm not going to cook anything again. Ever. I'm going to have Mala, our live-in French au pair, prepare all of our meals. I'm going to tour the LEGO factory without a group of people. Just me and the tour guide. I'm going to make sure that all of my donations to the children's hospital result in a wing being named after me.

But most important of all I will make sure that there is a trust fund for each of my children. Not too much. Just enough to help get by if they fall upon hard times. And, course. a college fund. (Which reverts to the state if they don't use it!)

Alright, you got me. That's all actually the second part of my master plan. The first part is winning the lottery.

No, really. I am so close. Why, just last week I got 1 number and the Mega number. So close, yet so far.

You gotta wonder just what it must feel like to win the lottery. How long do you wait to let anyone know? How long does it take for all those "friends" to come out of the woodwork? Is it better to take a lump sum payment?

All I know is I hope it happens soon. The way it's looking I won't be able to retire until I've been dead for about 6 years.

Did we win?

2008-08-25T04:04:00Z

That's what my oldest son asked me in regards to the Olympics this summer.

I told him we (the U.S.A.) got more medals than any other country, but that China got more golds.

"But did we win?" he asked.

That got me to thinking: Who were the real winners at the Olympics this summer?

Michael Phelps was, without a doubt, the most memorable positive story of these Olympic Games. 8 Gold Medals during one single Olympics!!
My girlfriends Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor going undefeated and winning gold!!!!
Shawn Johnson winning gold on the balance beam. (She can't be my girlfriend since she's only 16. But she'll be 20 in 2012!) *

And what are winners without, you guessed it, losers?

Don't even need a list here. Even though they garnered more gold than any other country I have to say China ended up the biggest losers in my book. I mean right from the get-go we had the CG fly-by of the fireworks (which I can almost understand) and the lip-synching of the little girl singing the Chinese National Anthem.

And what were the promises the Chinese made in order to cinch a lock for the 2008 Summer Games? Things having to do with Tibet, freedom of expression, pollution, Darfur. More Chinese tomfoolery.

But after China I'd say the Cuban taekwondo dude (Angel Matos) that kicked the referee in the head and the Swedish wrestler (Ara Abrahamian) who threw his medal on the floor came really close to topping the Chinese for biggest dumb-asses. China got my vote because their idiocy affected EVERYONE.

Anyway the Olympics are over and now I can get on with other things. I didn't bother watching the closing stuff tonight, I was busy making HUGE bubbles with my bubble wand. Besides I hear the performances by Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis were not only lip-synched but CG as well. Oh China.

*My wife isn't reading this one too, is she?

Little red Corvette. Baby you're much too fast.

2008-08-13T16:05:00Z

It can be said, with a reasonable amount of certainty, that there are way too many stupid people on the roads today. And I think that most of the time you can tell the intelligence level of the driver by the car. There is no algebraic equation, no scientific basis for this belief. Merely observation.

They will tell you not to judge a book by its cover. The problem with this is if you read enough books that have similar covers you can't help but judge. This is how I am about cars and their drivers. (Or would that be drivers and their cars?)

Anyway...Many years ago I came up with a list of vehicles on the road that pissed me off. 'Twas a short list.

Minivans.

I could always count on knowing that if a car somewhere around me fucked up chances were that it was a minivan. Driven by a small asian woman. Unable to see over the dashboard. With 9 children in the vehicle causing a distraction.

And for many years that held true. Then I noticed a new trend and my list was revised. Minivans were still on the list but now BMW's and Volvo's were added. I figured BMW drivers think they paid enough for the car so that entitles them to drive like dipshits Volvo drivers figure they can drive like idiots because even if they crash they'll survive.

After awhile Lexus made it to the list. (Same reason as Beamers.) Then Escalades. Escalade drivers are always assholes. Always have been. Probably always will be.

Then I noticed a disturbing trend some months ago: there seemed to be absolutely no rhyme or reason tho people fucking up on the road. Sometimes driving behavior can be attributed to the time of day. But Fords, Mitsubishis, Cadillacs all fucking up any old time they wanted to? WTF?

It was then I was able to see what the link between them was: They were all brand new off-the-lot cars without license plates. This actually is nothing new but it does seem a lot more prevalent these days. I suppose the logic is it's hard to pin anything on them 'cause the cops don't have plates to call in.

I suppose I will end this whole thing on a semi-positive note. Corvettes. These happen to be some of my favorite cars/drivers. I would estimate that maybe 90% of the time these guys don't screw up. There are always exceptions to the rule.

I never screw up while I'm driving either.

Yeah, right.

A perfect "10"

2008-08-09T02:35:00Z

Well it's that time of year again. Oh yeah. You know it. The Summer Olympics.

As I sit here and type this I'm listening to all that gobble-d-goop leading up to the opening ceremonies. And I think of how into the games I usually am. This year I really didn't think I would be into it. What with all the stupid crap going on with China and their censorship and whatnot.

But this isn't a political statement I'm making here. It's about the competition. The medals. (Be they gold, silver or bronze.) It's about rooting for some miniature girl from Wisconsin trying to win for her country. It's about Kobe Bryant (apparently.) It's wondering whether or not someone will fall, trip, smack their heads, or get hurt in general.

It also has a lot to do with the opening ceremony. A lot. 3-and-a-half hours? Zoinks!!!

It's about track and field. Running. Jumping. Skipping. Hurdling. Throwing.

SWIMMING!!! Holy mackerel! If I was in half the shape these folks are in.

And then of course there are those sorry sots that got ripped off buying tickets to the games. I'd hunt someone down and hurt them. Seriously. Painfully.

Well...everything is set to begin in about 5 minutes. I better get going.

In actuality it's all about women's beach volleyball. Hot, sweaty, half-naked women battling out for dominance on the beach.

My wife isn't reading this, is she?

"Kudos to Kevin Smith" or "37."

2008-08-07T05:35:00Z

I have to admit that I am not the biggest fan of Kevin Smith. Nothing against him. I like (most of) his movies. The ones I've seen anyway. (I still need to buy Chasing Amy!) But I gotta admire the fella. He makes what he makes and never has any regrets. (Well there was Mallrats but that was still enjoyable.)

Anyway he just put the finishing touches on his latest film Zack and Miri Make a Porno and submitted it to the MPAA for a rating. It came back with a rating of NC-17.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay. Let's go back a few years. Back to around 1995. A friend of my brother brought over a movie and said we had to watch it. That movie was Clerks. I thought I was going to piss myself I was laughing so hard. The movie is funny enough as it is, but if you've ever worked retail (especially minimum wage stuff) this movie is twice as funny.

Clerks was my formal introduction to Kevin Smith. Not only did he direct it, he wrote it, helped produce it, and had quite an amusing role in it. (Or should I say "Damned Amusing"?) He has since gone on to do lots of cool other stuff including, but not limited to, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Dogma, and Jersey Girl.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to today. Kevin Smith, being Kevin Smith, didn't think the NC-17 rating his film received was in any way indicative of how it should be received so he appealed the rating.

And won. Not the first time he has fought this battle. Clerks was also originally given an NC-17, and Jersey Girl was originally an R rating.

So to sum this all up:
At the very least (and I do mean that) go out and buy Clerks and Dogma; head over to this site Quick Stop Entertainment and get more insight about Kevin Smith and company; it is good to know there are other fanboys out there older than me. (Yes Will, this includes you.)

Keep kickin' ass, Kevin.

A side note: My youngest son is sleeping on my recliner while Little Shop of Horrors plays in the background.
Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long.

A 10 minute update

2008-08-02T05:43:00Z

Alright...on the morning of July 24th my buddy Sokny over at Oil Changer and his cohorts Eric and Larry checked their e-mails and found links to this blog. At 9:15 I got an e-mail from my buddy Sokny:

Jereme,

good morning could you please give me a call so I can explain the situation to you sir. My phone # is xxx-xxx-xxxx
thank you
sokny tek

All I could think was, "Situation? What situation?" So of course I ignored it. I figured that apparently he suffers the same problem as his "underlings"...bad communication.

Friday the 25th I get home and found a letter in my mailbox. Not from my buddy Sokny, but from Tony Campbell: Customer Service Director. The letter is dated the 24th. Coincidence? Certainly doesn't look that way.

Enclosed with the letter thanking me for my time and an apology for the inconvenience was a card for 1 (one) complimentary oil change. The least they could do I figure.

In an interesting little side note: That car that was blocking the driveway (yes Virginia, it is a driveway) has now been joined by another vehicle parked in the front of the store. It's a new car. It doesn't even have plates yet. I'm guessing this is further proof that either my buddy Sokny is full of shit and didn't speak to the crew at that location or that they just don't give a rat's ass what the Regional Manager has to say.

Either way it really doesn't look that good for my buddy Sokny.

A 320 Gigabyte update

2008-08-02T05:19:00Z

Remember a few days ago I was in tears because my external hard drive took a dump? (Okay I wasn't crying but I was pretty pissed.) Anyway...my wife took the thing to work and the techs at her place of employment performed what I would call a miracle. All they did was remove the drive itself (which works perfectly) from the enlclosure (which was the actual problem) and hook it to a computer. They then took all the data and put it into another external drive.

With extreme glee I burned all the photos and good stuff to a couple of DVD's and now all is good with the world.

The plan now is to put the "new" drive inside the computer and use it that way. All the extra storage without the cluttered computer desk.

In the meantime here's one of the pictures I lost and got back. It's a photo of my male gecko Sam. On the left is Leo, one of my females.

This just sucks.

2008-07-29T05:06:00Z

I don't know whether I should just sit here and cry or curl up in the fetal position and cry.

My external hard drive just took a shit.

Like, 15 gigs of music...gone.

The web pages I've been working on for me and the boys...gone.

Those are but drops in the bucket. Here's the worst part:

All of the pictures my wife and I have been taking for the last year-and-a-half...gone.

The reason for the external drive was just in case the computer tanked. HA!! Joke's on me.

I was only able to contact one place that does data recovery at this hour. The quote? Around $800.

This just fucking sucks.

Fuck!

This Entry Rated "R" By The MPAA

2008-07-27T05:56:00Z

For those of you that may have come in late I like to watch movies. Good ones, bad ones, happy ones, sad ones. Old movies with cheesy special effects or new movies with digital people so real it's hard to tell they're fake. Makes no difference to me. I appreciate movies for what they are: entertainment. If I think they are worthy enough (or cheap enough) I will by them.

I usually try to watch a movie within a day or two of buying it. I have fallen behind by a "few" movies. (~~Bubba Ho-Tep~~ Million Dollar Baby is next in line.) I like to browse the Best Buy and Circuit City ads on Sunday and see what's on sale. Another secret I'll let you in on is Big Lots. No jive. They have movies for $3 apiece. Not the best titles mind you, but REAL movies.

And of course every time I bring home a movie the boys want to know if they can watch it. My response is always to read the rating on the back. "R"? Nope. "PG-13"? Probably not. "PG"? Probably. "G"? Why are you even asking. And this always gets me to thinking about the rating system.

Did you know the current rating system was implemented in 1968? Did you know before there was "PG" there was "GP"? And before that it was "M"? Did you know that in 1990 the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) started doing something annoying? Allow me to explain.

Part of the fun in seeing a movie was always trying to guess why it received the rating it did. Was there nudity? Foul language? Death and dismemberment? The only way to know was to either check out the flick or read Joe Bob Briggs' Drive-In Review in the paper.

Suddenly new words began appearing on the movie posters under the "R" rating. Things like "For Violence and Strong Language" and "Strong Sci-Fi Violence and Action, Language and Brief Nudity." Huh? But that wasn't enough. They also had to start in on the "PG-13" and "PG" ratings as well. This got me to wondering about my current library. I had to laugh.

Here are some examples and the movies from which they come:

Ice Age	PG	Mild Peril
E.T	PG	Language and Mild Thematic Elements
Happy Feet	PG	Some Mild Peril and Rude Humor
The Bucket List	PG-13	Language, Including a Sexual Reference

Rude humor? A sexual reference? Language...in E.T.? Perhaps it should read "A Penis Reference."

I just figure I don't need to be told about the "R" stuff since I don't take my kids to see "R" movies. I can handle the ratings but I just don't see the reasoning for the explanations. If I'm unsure I'll see a movie before I take my boys.

As is usually the case I'm pretty sure I'm the only one this bothers but I just had to get this one out in the open.

Remember the 10 minute guarantee?

2008-07-24T04:40:00Z

Well folks the time has come to share yet another thing that's been bugging me for a couple of weeks now.

I am a bit too lazy to change my own oil. And since someone out there was smart enough to open a shop that would perform that service for me I figure why not give them some of my money.

Well I'm starting to figure out why not.

First I'll start with my e-mail to Oil Changers. I will then show you the e-mailed response. Read on. See you in a couple of minutes...

From: angrybaldguy@thirteenwide.com
Sent: Sunday, July 06, 2008 4:26 PM
To: info@oilchangerinc.com
Subject: Customer Service (Poor that is)

Let's not beat around the bush. I am not happy.

This afternoon I paid a visit to your XXXXXXXX location. This is a location I have been to many times. The staff has always been pleasant to deal with and service has always been performed well and in a timely manner.

Until today that is.

We (my family and I) pulled into the Oil Changers 3000 driveway at 2:15. There was already a car on the left and the car on the right had just pulled in as we arrived. A gentleman came out and motioned for us to pull toward the left "tunnel." After about 10 minutes he motioned for us to pull forward. (Both of the other cars were still there.) He came to my window and said it would be about 5 minutes. A white truck pulled in behind us. It was then that I really started paying attention to the clock. It was now 2:28. I told my wife about this location first going in and how they used to guarantee 10 minute service. I even mentioned the LED timers that used to be on the counter inside the store.

My children were already asleep. I nodded off a few times. At 2:43 I decided I had waited long enough. We had already waited half-an-hour. I figured I would be twice as upset if, after waiting this long to get my oil changed, it took another 20 minutes to actually change my oil. (Both of the other cars were still there, as well as the white truck behind us.)

As I stated before I was around when this store was built. I have gotten MANY oil changes here before. I knew there was a driveway on the left that I could use to leave the location. As I pulled around the side of the building I realized I could not go through because someone had parked a car there. I honked my horn to get an employee's attention. After a couple minutes one finally sauntered over and said, "You're up chief." My response was that I was tired of waiting and would like to leave. He said, "There are only 2 of us working."

(It is at this point in my narrative that I would like to point out that if someone had told us when we arrived that there were only 2 people working and that it could be awhile I may have just left and come back later. Unfortunately such was not the case.)

I told him that wasn't my concern. I also said that you don't tell people it will be 5 minutes and keep them waiting for 20. I then asked if someone would move the car so I could get out.

His answer was simple and unapologetic: "No. That is a parking space. You'll have to back out."

Luckily the truck that was behind us had pulled in to the right side and the way was clear for us to back out. (The car that was there when we arrived was still there when we left.)

I'm now upset that I will have to drive an additional distance to get an oil change somewhere that doesn't require an appointment. I enjoy the convenience and (used to) enjoy the fast service of this location.

A possibly former customer,

Name and
Address withheld

Subject: RE: Customer Service (Poor that is)
From: Sokny Tek region1@oilchangerinc.com
Date: Mon, July 7, 2008 9:44 am
To: angrybaldguy@thirteenwide
Cc: LARRY oilhead@thegrid.net , Eric Frankenberger operations@oilchangerinc.com

angrybaldguy,

good morning my name is sokny tek regional manager for oil changers. I want to apologized for the inconvenience yesterday. The reason why it took so long on the 2 vehicle ahead of you because they had a lot of services done. Regardless my employees should of communicate that to you. I also appreciate your loyalty to oil changers as a customer. I want apologized again that we did not get to service your 2002 santa fe but I would like to offer a complementary oil change for the inconvenience and to ratain you as our loyal customer. Please give me a call so I can arrange for the service. I also apologized for the remark concerning the parking situation. Your satisfaction is my 1st priority. My phone # is XXX-XXX-XXXX

thank you
sokny tek

So now you folks have seen the printed goods. Now here's some more fun stuff...

I called Sokny on the afternoon of July 14th. He told me he was sorry and would speak to his people about the parking thing. I told him there was plenty of parking across the street and that I had worked places where I had to park further out than that. He also got my address and assured me he would send a card (or something to that effect) for a free oil change.

Well here I am over a week later and guess what? That's right, no mail from my bud Sokny. I can't imagine it would put him out that much to put a card in the mail. Possibly he's too busy running damage control for his other locations.

Also, I took these photos yesterday (July 22nd.)

The photo on the top (or left) is proof positive that the employees at this location pay absolutely no mind to anything the regional manager has to say. (Yes, that's a car blocking the driveway.) The photo on the bottom (or right) shows that at least one employee knows what the parking spaces are for. That's right boys and girls!!! They actually have spots to park in.

Notice the arrows in the picture on the bottom? Those arrows point to the exit that is on that side of the building. They do not point out the exclusive parking spot of some lazy employee.

So now that you all understand why I am so pissed here's the last little part: I'm sending a link of this blog to the folks at Oil Changer. I'm curious if this might promote some changes. (Not oil changes. Well, mine at least.)

By the way Sokny, Larry, and Eric...I have two cars and they both need oil changes.